Positivity after the gloom

  • I passed both of my essays – a distinction in one of them. It shows  I am capable of doing a masters and the blip during my last module was a one-off and down to bad timing.
  • Samuel is better after a few days of diarrhoea and the worst looking nappy rash I’ve seen in a long time. He’d been cheerful throughout it but had to keep him off nursery.
  • Steven was a star at staying up and looking after Samuel when I had to work.  We managed it well between us with Steven sacrificing quite a bit of sleep to help me out.
  • I’m getting my hair highlighted tomorrow. Debating going a bit mad but will probably wimp out at the last minute. As long as it makes my grey less obvious I don’t care what colour they make it.
  • The weather is great at the moment. Life is more manageable when the sun is shining. I’ve made it through another winter without needing to buy the SAD lamp I debate every year.
  • I’m feeling better about running. Things have not gone to plan this week and I haven’t been able to get out when I wanted but I’m not letting this worry me or have a negative effect. 16 weeks until my run so I still have few weeks to get into my routine.
  • Just over three weeks until my annual leave starts (resisting starting the sleeps countdown just yet)


Loneliness of management

I’ve recently been promoted at work and I’m really struggling with it.  My manager has been off on long term sickness for several months and I’ve been appointed interim manager until she returns.  Without a manager for 6 months things had slipped. I’ve walked into a mess and coupled with the major cost improvement programme that is gripping the NHS, it’s a very scary mess.

I feel stuck in the middle – being told to make horrendous cuts to provision in order to improve the long term security of our service and being the person that communicates this far from ideal situation to both staff and the public. Continence has already hit the news this week – whilst things are not as bad for our service, I would not be surprised if such a situation arose in the next 12 months.   Whilst our current measures appear harsh, in reality they are the lesser of two evils to prevent a far worse and widespread reduction in service.

I’m struggling with the perception that I personally dreamt up these measures. I’ve been shocked by the reactions of other colleagues (one group of staff in particular). Our service has been branded ‘appalling’ and we have received little support with comments of criticism and mismanagement. In my naivety I thought we all worked for the same organisation and were meant to be singing from the same hymn sheet.

Nationally I know that we are a good service. We offer value for money and a good standard of provision. Sadly the consumer culture that has been created within the NHS means that the public do not appreciate that.  People now feel it is their right to have whatever they want, whether or not it is clinically indicated or cost effective.  Such feelings are generally supported by the aforementioned staff group who support patient ideas and generate unrealistic expectations.

Our patient population is growing at a faster rate than commissioning is paying for and at some point something has got to give.  The government continues to tell us that NHS provision is not being cut. I certainly does not feel like that.

Do you believe in fairies?

The majority of the work in our house is done by a fairy. She works unnoticed doing all the household things that need doing. Our fairy moonlights though. She works full-time as a nurse and was recently promoted to a nurse manager role. She’s struggling a little bit with work and finding it hard to get everything done around the house.

I wonder how she does it – doing two full-time jobs at the same time. She worries though that she isn’t doing a particularly good job at either and she’d like to be able to concentrate fully on one to really make a good go at it. Tonight she’s particularly struggled – a long day at work and then came round to us. She occasionally gets offers of assistance that don’t actually come to anything. Washing up in particular – “Leave that, I’ll do it later” usually means the washing up will sit there for two days.

Tonight she was praying for that little voice to say “Anything I can do?” as a prompt response had already been mentally prepared –

  • cook the dinner
  • do the washing up
  • order the online shop for Friday
  • sort out the house insurance
  • cancel the car breakdown cover
  • pay the nursery bill
  • put a load of washing on
  • sort out the nappies that were washed yesterday
  • sort out the kids bags for nursery tomorrow

I guess you could say it was the fairy’s fault for not asking for help but you see she did. It was met with a ‘do I have to?’ and ‘but I don’t like it.’ Apparently walking 2 minutes to the chip shop to save cooking dinner was asking a little too much.

I’m worrying the fairy is getting a bit fed up and feeling undervalued. She is debating contacting her union for further advice.  I wonder how quickly her absence would be noticed if she stopped visiting for a few weeks.

Nike+ Dashboard

Well, I’ve started. It was walking more than running but I’m hoping the first is the worst.

I got a Nike+ thingy and I hope it will keep me motivated. I like looking at graphs (as long as they are going in the right direction).  It also means I have a lady talking to me through my ipod telling me how far I’ve run. I’m not sure if she’s motivating or patronising at the moment. There is a male voice available as well so I might give that a go instead.

On a positive she did make me run further. I’d set out to do 2 miles but got back home a little bit short. Just because the lady hadn’t announced 2 miles I kept running around our close until she let me go inside. Let’s hope I don’t accidentally set a much bigger distance.

Nike+ Dashboard.

The 11th British 10K London Run

This year I decided to have a go at my Day Zero list. Run at 10k is on there. Its one of those distant thoughts that I would like to think I would do without actually putting in the effort.

I’ve realised that unless I actually enter a race, I’ll never do it. So, a well timed email from the Children’s Heart Federation has meant I’ve entered the British 10k in July.

My preparation so far has included buying a new pair of trainers, printing off a 10k training plan and looking at Nike+ things online. I guess I have to actually put the trainers on now.

The 11th British 10K London Run